I find myself completely surrounded by people who need prayer, more serious prayer than just the day to day stuff. The thing that makes it even worse is it is for babies. There are three families who have children who I pray for daily, even multiple times a day. I feel bad that prayer is the only thing I can offer, but at least I am doing something.
Recently I have found myself needing more prayer, in fact I have started doing something I don't do very often- praying for myself. There is just so much going on. Working on being myself, trouble with friends, missing best friends, moving, where are we moving, possibly buying a house at some point. Too much to handle at this point.
I started attending a bible study with the ladies from another building. Its been nice. I missed last week because I was just a mess. But we have been studying the Psalms and therefore talking about prayer. I was able to tell others about my version of 'praying without ceasing' and have been praying even more than before. I am starting to feel like the more I pray the more there is to pray about. Not because they are things that are being drawn to my attention, but things that start coming up a new baby born with a new problem, new problem with people around me. It has got me thinking about Job who btw I am not a big fan of because of people telling me to read it when times were tough but I feel as though there is so much happening as I pray more, kinda like Job's relationship with God. But my concern is for others. Why is it that these trials come for them I know it is not because of my faithfulness but why are they happening around me. Is my lesson here to learn to feel helpless? Because that is what I have been feeling lately especially with friendship problems.
There is so much going on in my mind right now that I can't even keep it straight. I hope this at least made a little sense. This was all I could get out just because of the jumbled mess in my mind. CRAZY! lol